Boogie until you puke, no wait, come to KGB Mondays at 4:30 PM in Breed Hall (Margaret Morrison 103). [footnote: nowadays it's every Monday at 4:30 PM in Margaret Morrison A14.] We love you. You'll love us. Give us money. You can be a member of the most gratuitously silly campus organization in existence. KGB is like Orange Juice. It's like everything you've ever known that's good for you. So, run and tell your mother that you'll be busy on Monday evening because you're going to join the KGB. No, we don't hate Boris Yeltsin, honest, really. Bring as many friends as you have. Bring as much food as you have. Bring as much money as you have. Bring all of your clothing and as much canned yams as you can buy on short notice. No shoes, no shirt, no service. The other day, Mike Murphy said to me, ``Hey, you know I might join the KGB.'' I didn't believe him, and you probably shouldn't believe me. Rampant consumerism is destroying the American work ethic, but you can still join the KGB. Polyester leisure suits are still out of style, but everyone cool is still a member of KGB. KGB, KGB, KGB. Why aren't you out buying more TANGERINES?!!?!?!??!