President – Daniel Yin
Self-proclaimed “Splatoon God,” Daniel is ready to rumble as the new president. He has prepared for this overwhelming responsibility by consuming a diet of 5 gallons of squid ink every 3.2 fortnights. He reports that this is a necessary addition to his intake, without which his very bone structure would disintegrate. We don’t think a liquid Daniel would be a great president, so we won’t test his claim.
OneVeep – Benner Rogers
Benner’s rise to power has been swift and decisive. She claims that she has no desire an absolute dictatorship, but her experience as an English major would mean she knows of the word “deceit.” The Ohio native has put her prospective English degree to good use by helping to revive ReadMe, a publication nearly as cool as Pravda?.
TwoVeep – Teddy Lin
By putting morphine in his chocolate chip cookies, Teddy was able to create a strong enough addiction among the general body to win his election. He assures us that this unique ingredient “enhances” the flavor of the chocolate. Whatever it does, we all just can’t wait until the next event when we can taste them again,,, mmm…
CorSec – Nathan Gaynor
Nathan has somehow made time to be KGB’s Corsec. Forever trapped in BXA purgatory and imprisoned by the CFA practice rooms, he can be busy. However, he assures the general body that Pravda and newsletters will always come out on time and that all emails will be sent professiionaly and wihtout errors . Nathan will continue to serve KGB during school breaks at his island home on the Principality of Sealand.
RecSec – Julia Holz
Embracing her inevitable fate, Julia has returned to her third year as Recsec. How has she managed to stay sane? Who says she has! Fully acclimated to her position, she remains unfazed as motions are tabled until the heat death of the universe. She will wait those many years, still as Recsec the whole time, to untable them.
Treasurer – Ryan Tosh
Having trained with the United States Air Force, Ryan is ready for whatever task or turmoil the treasurer position may throw at him. He will not use his military connections to embezzle taxpayer money into the KGB’s bank fund, as that would be irresponsible. Any upcoming money we receive from the Air Force are just charitable gifts and donations. To prove his financial commitment to the organization, he has submitted his Social Security Card to us for safekeeping
S@A – Isaac Williamson
Isaac managed to win the vote to become the Sergeant at Arms, an outcome he did not fully anticipate. He says he will rise to this task, and attempt to grow at least 2 more arms. We wish him luck in the endeavor and will continue to monitor his insectification.